Blog: Social

Daughters vs Sons

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Growing up in a Caribbean household means two very different things, even being raised under the same roof by the same people, for daughters verses sons, stemming from the fact that many mothers “baby” their sons while are much harder on their daughters. Even if they are unaware that they are doing so, it is safe to say that there are some thinking biases to how parents respond and react to their child based on their gender. The only fair way to parent is by keeping it an even playing field for everyone. In many ways the style of parenting that doesn’t make the playing field fair can affect their child’s relationships, opportunities and overall quality of life. In this, perception is everything. We know no parent deliberately means to belittle their own child. In many cases, survival skills are being taught, which should be praised but it’s more about how things are taught than what is actually being learned. It doesn’t matter whether you’re the chosen child or not, the perception of unequal treatment has damaging effects for all siblings. For example, daughters doing the chores while sons get to play. The less favored kids (the one doing the chores) may have ill will toward their mother or preferred sibling, and being the favored child brings resentment from one’s siblings and the added weight of greater parental expectations. Some positives Long-term effects of being the favored child are not all negative. There are, in fact, lots of advantages – including a bolstered self-esteem. The favorite child often grows up feeling confident and powerful with an attitude of ‘I can get things done. The overlooked child, who didn’t have to do the ‘pleasing dance,’ may have been free to experience the things he or she wanted to experience and to be the person he or she wanted to be. Negative effects                                         On the flip side, in the long-term, favorite children may struggle with intimate relationships when they find that no one can…

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10 Years Later…

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On January 12, 2010, a 7.0 magnitude earthquake shook the city of Port-au-Prince. It was one of the world’s most significant natural disasters on record. Never before had the world seen an earthquake of this magnitude strike an urban setting, and the impact was serious. Two hundred thirty thousand people were killed, 300,000 were injured. In and around the city, buildings collapsed, leaving 1.5 million people homeless. Those who arrived to help in the days that followed the quake say they will never forget arriving into the city just after the earthquake struck. The destruction was everywhere. There were dead bodies lying in the streets, and residents wandering around. It was like a bomb had dropped on the city. But through it all, Haitians showed to have extraordinary resilience through their struggle, and hardship. The world responded with urgency, compassion, and generosity. Billions of dollars were raised, and aid organizations implemented massive relief and recovery operations. It was, after all, the first independent nation of Latin America and the only country in the world established following a successful slave revolt. It is this inherent fighting spirit that has enabled people to withstand enormous challenges thrown at them. While legitimate questions were raised about overall aid effectiveness and efficiency, there is no doubt that many lives were saved, and Haiti was significantly helped back on the road to recovery. But resilience is not inevitable. Many more struggled immensely to survive. Ten years on from the earthquake, Haiti has actually regressed. The causes are multiple, but negligence and lack of attention are key drivers of the current crisis. We start 2020 with a country that is both highly vulnerable to climatic disaster and facing a massive — and massively underreported — hunger crisis. Data supplied in October by the Integrated Food Security Phase Classification (IPC) revealed that 3.67 million people need urgent food assistance. Inflation is close to 20 percent, and currency depreciation has been crippling for poor Haitian families. Not enough seems to be being done. The current annual budget is a fraction of what it was in the post-earthquake period, and the total of…

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Be Vigilant This Holiday Season

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Holidays are supposed to be a joyous time – but scammers can replace the joy of the season with the headaches of fraud. Throughout the season, make sure you are taking these simple precautions to keep yourself and your loved ones protected. Phishing emails– Phishing is a type of online scam where criminals send an email that appears to be from a legitimate company and ask you to provide sensitive information. Popular ones include the personalized letter from Santa to your child, solicitations from unknown third parties that offer gift cards or discounts in exchange for taking a survey, fake delivery confirmations and fake renewal requests for things like insurance coverage. Fake Charities– Unfortunately, fake charities often pop up during the holidays to take advantage of people’s generosity. Thoroughly do research on any new charities that ask for your money. Legitimate charities will be happy to answer your questions, not wanting to do so should be the big red flag you need to let you know you could be about to fall for a holiday scam. Social Media Scams – Be aware of posts on social media sites that appear to offer vouchers or gift cards, holiday promotions or contests, or shared linked from known friends. These scams can lead consumers to participate in an online survey that is actually designed to steal personal information. In this day in age, we post absolutely everything but, in this case, consumers should not post pictures of event tickets on social media sites. Scammers can create a ticket using the barcode obtained from the photo and resell the ticket. Protect ticket barcodes as you would credit card numbers. Phone Scams –In general, you should not give your personal information over the phone in any call that you did not initiate. Some phone companies have done us the favor and labeled certain calls as “spam risk” so you already know to ignore who is calling. In the cases that the call has not been labeled as such, use your best judgement. E-cards – Holiday e-cards are increasingly popular, but they can contain viruses. Verify them…

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Lack of Education in the Caribbean

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Fortunately for those living in the states, education is heavily enforced. So much so that officials will come knocking on home doors in search for children who are no longer attending school in hopes of flipping the narrative. Unfortunately, though, our kin in the Caribbean cannot relate. Education in the Caribbean, most specifically literacy, is very rarely stressed at all. If you go, great. If you don’t, not many areas get those visits previously mentioned, so, children kind of just go without. The circumstances are most times so much more different though. Most children are needed to work back home, in fields or wherever they can find to keep their families supported. Though that reasoning is totally understandable, it could be doing more harm than good in the long run. Individuals aren’t fully to blame for just deciding a life without schooling is the route they will take. Most Caribbean islands have kids take a placement test once they make it to a certain age (usually around their teens) that acts as sort of a divider between the “high achieving” and “lower achieving” students. The score you get on the exam either allows you to continue on an educational path (teachers, doctors, engineers, etc.) or suggests that you should go after a trade (a jeweler, mechanic, contractor, etc.). This act, depending on the individual could but both them and the society in jeopardy. Most obviously, individual lose the ability to understand essential information. That can be for jobs or just in regular day-to-day life. Lower income then comes from lower quality jobs due to lack of schooling, but this idea can be reworked depending on the person because there are now so much more people starting successful businesses of their own. Little value is then given to education which in most cases will lead to generations after generations repeating the same cycle. Most importantly, for individuals who let it affect them in this way, lower self-esteem can be experienced which then gets into the conversation surrounding mental health and it is very clear how harmful not having a positive relationship…

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To Our Men: It’s Okay Not To Be Okay

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Sadly enough, in our culture (both African American and Caribbean), open dialogue in homes regarding mental health is little to none. We want to take a moment to open that dialogue, specifically to our men, because it is okay not to be okay. Let’s start off with some pretty universal realizations: Women are twice as likely as men to experience major depression, yet women are one fourth as likely as men to take their own lives. (Most) men value independence and they look at acknowledging a need for help as weakness and avoid it. (Most) women value interdependence, and they consult friends and readily accept help. Generally, the factors that protect women from suicide are the reason men feel inclined to choose a path of suicide. That says a lot about the effectiveness of open dialogue that, unfortunately, many of us are not used to. As a people we collectively look to the earth for so many of our remedies. Grandma would go out into her yard and pick those leaves for that awful tea that would magically make us feel like our old self again (after we stopped gagging over the taste). We only ate things that were planted in our yard. The animals we killed were those that we raised. All of this shows how one we were with our surroundings. We still did not realize we were neglecting the most important part of our diet, our mind. It is safe to say that from early years our people were taught to be silenced. From slave masters, to people in office, to bad bosses. We unconsciously took that home with us. We silence the weak with unhelpful mantras, we shut people out who appeared broken and the worst thing … we raised boys to grow into men who felt showcasing emotion made them weak. Now we, still unconsciously, created a culture of men who hide in their darkest shadows and we’ve given them no clear pathway out. We are the only ones who have the power to change that narrative. That includes being accepting of a young man…

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No Money? No Problem!

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More and more people are working full-time jobs while also working a side hustle. For those who may not know, a side hustle is a job that you can work on top of your full-time job. It is a flexible second job that brings in money, but it is also typically something that you are passionate about, that you don’t get to pursue in your main job. In between jobs? Awaiting citizenship? Are you just not making enough at your current 9-5 so you are in search for ways to make more? Let’s tap into our stereotype (“Caribbean’s constantly have 10+ jobs”), the one and only time it may be okay to do so and get to work. Here is a list of some (maybe surprising) side hustles that you could try or recommend someone you know to try: [vc_message style=”square” message_box_color=”grey” icon_fontawesome=”fa fa-check”]Driving If you’re free mornings, nights, or weekends, you can earn extra cash driving your fellow citizens around. Sign up with Lyft or Uber to get started. Both companies offer “Destination Mode”, which basically allows you to earn money on your regular morning and evening commute by telling the app which direction you’re headed and only accepting riders along your route.[/vc_message][vc_message style=”square” message_box_color=”grey” icon_fontawesome=”fa fa-check”]Notary Public Service Notary certification is granted by the state and the cost is generally less than $100. Once you’re certified, you can charge your own fee to notarize documents.[/vc_message][vc_message style=”square” message_box_color=”grey” icon_fontawesome=”fa fa-check”] Customer Reviews Many companies use customer reviews to get feedback on new products. Respondent is a cool service that facilitates those interviews that take place both in-person and online (you can do this from home; just look for the ones that say “remote”). The average compensation is $140 an hour![/vc_message][vc_message style=”square” message_box_color=”grey” icon_fontawesome=”fa fa-check”]Online Surveys Going hand-in with Respondent, you can also do online surveys. This is an easy way to supplement your income and you can do them in your downtime (waiting in line, watching TV, etc.). Here are some survey sites to check out: Springboard America Survey Junkie Swagbucks Prize Rebel InboxDollars Opinion Outpost CashCrate [/vc_message][vc_message style=”square” message_box_color=”grey” icon_fontawesome=”fa…

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You Know You Are Caribbean When…

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In our community, we have some very special ways of expressing ourselves. Growing up, you probably have rolled your eyes at your elders on more than one of these occasions we are calling “you know you are Caribbean when…”: [vc_tta_pageable no_fill_content_area=”1″ autoplay=”10″ active_section=”1″ pagination_style=”flat-square” pagination_color=”orange” tab_position=”top” css=”.vc_custom_1566370165817{background-color: #d1d1d1 !important;border-radius: 5px !important;}”] #1 1. Labels on a container don’t mean anything Have you ever seen a container of your favorite snack on a shelf and ran over to open it, only to find none other than sewing materials inside? Ever thought you hit the jackpot by finding that last bit of butter you needed in the fridge but, surprise, it’s some type of curried meat? Congratulations! You are a chosen one. You are Caribbean. #2 2. The family is always growing One may think a growing family is only due to newborns, but a true Caribbean knows not to exclude the fully grown from this equation. How many times has someone brought around a new aunt or uncle for you to meet that you have never seen before in your life? You probably have run out of fingers.  It becomes second nature to accept the new addition, give a big hug like your life depended on it and make that person feel loved. It is something we all should cherish about our upbringing, no matter how random it tends to be, because we love hard and we extend it to all of those in need without ever thinking twice. #3 3. You have perfected the art of stealing from the pot without making a sound The best meals always take the longest time to cook. Don’t they? We all have that one story of trying to steal from the pot before dinner was “ready” and getting caught, some might have the scars to go along with the tale. It is always at the last second, those last couple of inches before you get the lid fully closed, that the sweat from your hand or gravity or (in our caretaker’s minds) the evil spirits turn on us and cause a commotion. Then…

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